If not gems, I would work with textiles.  I collected them: handmade quilts from the Amish of Ohio; colorful hammocks woven by Mexican net fisherman; centuries-old lace from Spain; shell and raffia loincloths from the Amazon; embroidered pillowcases from Midwestern wives of the 1940’s; antique kimono and ikat weavings.

Naturally, I was attracted to an Indian-cut bead necklace of variegated colors of spinel and tanzanite. It looked woven, like the sinuous lengths of Cambodian silk I draped over my shoulders.

Warp and weft weave the life of a fabric.  Warp threads are the lengthwise strands of a fabric through which weft threads weave back and forth.  The warp gives strength and structure; the weft creates pattern, color and depth.  Woven too tightly, the fabric buckles and is repellant.  Too loose, threads can turn to tangle.  Thus, weaving is an art and a science.

The threads of my life had become too tightly bound.  At 42, I had to loosen the warp and weft if I wanted room for anything else in my life.  I wrote a new vision for my life, one that included love and a family of my own. It’s one thing to ask God for the goodies, but you have to climb your own way out of the pit.

I helped my staff find new jobs, quit writing articles and said “no” to trunk shows and seminars.  Then, I went about my life – watching the wind in the leaves, cooking more meals for myself, hanging out with my parents, reading, and slowing down.  I even took up belly dancing.

This unwinding, though wanted, was a dismantling of what I had built my life and ego around.  It was unnerving.

Yet, my life was calling, and I had to make room for something new.

 

 

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